After many years of self-learning, it has hit me that I have been hiding behind the pursuit of living my life by societal standards. That I have been brainwashed into trying to portray what society wants to see in me, rather than what I truly am.
One thing I realised lately is that I am full of fears.
The fear of not being good enough.
The fear of losing what I have built over the years.
The fear of not being able to provide for my family.
Even the fear of writing this post, for I will be judged.
And yet, for many years I have been sweeping these fears under the rug because society taught me that fears will never lead to success.
To give you an example, my children know that before I agree to them undertaking any activity, I have analysed the worst that may happen. Often, I would even make them conscious of the potential dangers rather than encouraging them to have fun and make the most out of that opportunity.
One year, for Father’s Day, my children made me a jacket out of bubble wrap. They knew how much fear drove my life long before I consciously realised it myself.
Today, I feel comfortable recognising my own fears and more importantly, I have been able to detach my fears from defining who I am.
In other words, fears are the horror movies I run in my head, but they are not me.
I now see these movies for what they truly are; pure fiction. While it may take a while to change the type of movies I play in my head, this conscious realisation allows me to reach for different movies.
In the end, fears are real for every one of us. Whether you give them more screen time than they deserve, is up to you.